Oh, embarrassment--yes, this is a topic I feel I know all too well. At first, I was not going to write anything about it because it, well, may be...embarrassing. Oh, the irony! This has been a topic that I've had bouncing back and forth in my head for quite some time now, and it just seems time to get it all out. Hence, another blog post.
I was thinking back over the past several years of my life a couple of days ago-- where I thought I'd be, where I dreamed I'd be, where I didn't want to be, and where I actually am. It seems over this span of time there have been countless instances situations have arisen where, as a result of these situations, my complete humiliation has been the result. Not so fun. Whether it was something someone said, did, assumed, accused me of, intentional, unintentional, meaning well, meaning harm or even whether it was something I did, pain ensued. Post immediate embarrassment, thoughts of self-defense usually filled ridiculous amounts of mindspace, and numerous questions of "what?", "why?", "how?", etc developed. All of this being said, I do know one thing--that these uncomfortable experiences are not unique to me. I'm sure that each and every one of you have experienced this phenomenon.
I was thinking back over the past several years of my life a couple of days ago-- where I thought I'd be, where I dreamed I'd be, where I didn't want to be, and where I actually am. It seems over this span of time there have been countless instances situations have arisen where, as a result of these situations, my complete humiliation has been the result. Not so fun. Whether it was something someone said, did, assumed, accused me of, intentional, unintentional, meaning well, meaning harm or even whether it was something I did, pain ensued. Post immediate embarrassment, thoughts of self-defense usually filled ridiculous amounts of mindspace, and numerous questions of "what?", "why?", "how?", etc developed. All of this being said, I do know one thing--that these uncomfortable experiences are not unique to me. I'm sure that each and every one of you have experienced this phenomenon.
...But you know, to put things into really quick perspective, as I want to weep and wallow, I have to remember that Jesus endured the ultimate humiliation. How unbelievably intense His pain must have been--and to think that God allowed His perfect and righteous Son to endure this because of His great love for us. Incomprehensible! Not only was this the ultimate embarrassment, but "God made Him Who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." (2 Corinthians 5:21)
(Pause)
Wow! How sobering.
Let's take it one step further, "He was despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we esteemed Him not." (Isaiah 53:3)
Goodness! How...embarrassing. Yet, He did nothing to deserve any of it. I'm not comparing His humiliation with ours because it doesn't compare. This just goes to show that embarrassment is something He is well-acquainted with.
Now, I want to be very clear here that I am not putting suffering for the Lord and embarrassment in the same category, even though they can go perfectly hand in hand depending on the situation. I'm sure that many of the embarrassments that have happened in my lifetime have been a result of my own foolish decisions, or just plain ol' not knowing what to do. In my quiet time (QT) today, I was asking the Lord how to deal with these embarrassments--you know, the self-inflicted ones. More specifically, what do I do with the pain that comes along with them. The first part of the answer and probably the more obvious one was to give the pain to Him (friends, there is no need to hold on to your pain, let it go)--"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30) The second part of the answer, which was almost like a flash of light going off in my head (cha-ching!), was to let the humiliation bring us to a point of surrender to Him in whatever area it may fall for us personally, be it self-image, relationship(s), expectations, etc. As one of my good friends says, "It's not fun or funny," but if He is allowing this as a means of drawing us closer into fellowship with Him, so be it.
I do want to encourage those of you who may be going through a period (or periods) of embarrassment and humiliation regarding your standards and morals, to wait on the Lord to carry out His promise(s) to you while trusting in His faithfulness and timing, and remember that even your relationship with Christ as your salvation has been firmly established in Him. Stand strong! Don't give a foothold to the enemy (he plays quite unfairly). Our emotions and feelings are such powerful things that can wind up, if not controlled, having us feeding into lies and falsely accusing God. As my mom has faithfully reminded me for many years, "your feelings are real, but they don't always tell you the truth." So friends, stand on the Word of the Lord. Hold His promises near and dear. Consider it a blessing to be embarrassed and humiliated for Him; He sees everything and no single thing is lost on Him. Ignore and put out of your mind any thoughts that would have you think ill of our precious Heavenly Father, and continue to wait patiently for Him regarding the fulfillment of His Word to you. Let God be your defense; please don't depend on yourself to 'get back', or you may quickly find yourself returning to the first category of embarrassment (self-inflicted). Yikes! I don't know about you, but I'd like to minimize the number of times I go back to that! At the proper time, He will right the wrong in only a way He can; it will be perfect justice because He is the One carrying it out. "But the Lord has become my fortress, and my God the rock in whom I take refuge." Psalm 94:22
It's funny, I never intend to write a whole bunch, but there always seems to be substantially more text that I was planning on in each post. :) In closing, here are just a few people in the Bible that have been very well acquainted with embarrassment, but just look at how mightily our Father used them!
• Joseph (Genesis chapters 37-50)
• Noah (Genesis chapters 5-9)
• David (1 Samuel 16 through 2 Samuel, 1 Kings 1-2, 1 Chronicles 11-29)
• Jesus (of course--throughout the Bible)!
It is my sincere hope that this has been of some encouragement to you, friend! I will be the first to scream and shout loudly that I'm not perfect and I definitely don't have it all together. I have not mastered life and all of it's challenges, but our Savior Jesus Christ has, and there is no element of shame or embarrassment there! Thank You Father!
"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 1 Corinthians 12:9-10
-D
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